Sunday, June 11, 2017
You're Now at DEFCON FOUR
Well, the other day I was in line at the grocery store and it hit me, parents are putting the fear of numbers into kids heads right from the start. This little kid, maybe he was three years old, was being very cheeky. He just wanted a bit of attention and he was fussing with the grocery bags and that sort of thing. This sort of behaviour was unacceptable to his mother so she started counting to him. "You're at ONE". This was funny to me so I chimed in, "Uh oh, you're at one". Couldn't wait to see what he would do to get to two. He started pulling on the rope that blocks off the aisle. "You're now at TWO". He smiled and gave another tug. "NOW YOU'RE AT THREE". Good lord woman, how high are you going to count? At this point I was starting to fear the numbers too and thought I had better get out of there. The kid didn't do anything wrong at number three it was just that he wasn't obeying his mother's commands. She wanted him to go round the counter and stand next to the cart. "YOU ARE NOW AT NUMBER FOUR". No, really, how high was this woman going to count? I was very close to provoking that child to do something wrong just to see what happened when she hit five. Was her head going to launch off of her shoulders like a missile and annihilate us all? What was with these numbers? I can only imagine what's going to happen to this child when he goes off to school. The teacher asks him what two plus two is and he'll probably wet his pants. 10+10 is probably the equivalent of digging your own grave then throwing the dirt on top of yourself. The kid only made it to number four then straightened up and did what his mother told him to do. Still, I find it hilarious that parents can put fear into their children's heads just by counting. Poor Count von Count.